Recently, I have had several conversations with friends about feeling isolated and disconnected. These conversations have been encouraging, beautiful and difficult. Each person has a different standard and so isolation and disconnection are going to take on slightly different meanings for each person, however, that is not at the top of importance.
In one of these conversations one friend asked me, and another friend, what we have done to cultivate the relationships around us. I have continued to wrestle with this question for the past week. The answer to that question is going to look different for each of us and for each relationship. For me, I have focused on the friendships that have brought some feelings of discontent recently. It has been extremely helpful and healing for me. In this same conversation, the Lord so kindly revealed to me that I am looking for Jesus working in these relationships and not necessarily going to Him. I tend to be one that processes aloud and with others. The Lord has reminded me to bring all things before Him and to trust and rest in Him alone. Jesus is working in and through several of my relationships and I am so thankful that the Lord reveals Himself to me in and through the lives of others.
Again, this topic came up the other night with a couple of other friends. As we continued to talk through these feelings we were reminded that sometimes we will go through seasons like this. Having young kids is one of those seasons. We are giving all we have the little ones and at home (and work) and to our husbands that it is hard to pour into our relationships with others. I know for me it tends to sneak up on me. All of the sudden I feel disconnected from some friendships that are usually pretty close. I am learning to not focus on the frustrating or the disappoint moments but to rejoice in the Lord for blessing of where He has me now. My satisfaction is to come from the Lord alone, my worth is only in Him. He knows my heart and desires more than anyone. I can (and need to) trust in Him alone.
Outside of pursuing the Lord. What does this look like for me? Pursuing relationships with those that have similar desires for their friendships. Sometimes we are called to share with others, regardless of how the other person might respond. Often I have a difficult time sharing if I feel the other person will "dismiss" me or if I perceive they are too busy to care. Sometimes, not all the times though, I will just have to share regardless. Reaching out to others when I need to, not just waiting to see if they will pursue. These are difficult things for me, but when I am resting in Lord and pursuing Jesus wholeheartedly this will happen more naturally and with less anxiety and frustration. I am blessed with the relationships around me, but I have a strong desire for them to be deeper. Lord, may I wrestle well with this and trust completely in You.....You alone are enough!
2 comments:
Erin - I feel like you read my mind with this post. It is comforting to know I am not alone with these feelings. I think it is something a lot of us moms with young kids face, but not many talk about it. Thank you for your insight on this topic.
Such a good post Erin. It is something I have been wrestling with a lot lately and love to hear your perspective on it.
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